1 00:00:01,750 --> 00:00:02,830 [phone chimes] 2 00:00:12,340 --> 00:00:13,670 [phone chimes] 3 00:00:19,010 --> 00:00:20,960 [phone chimes] 4 00:00:41,790 --> 00:00:43,820 Okay, there's a strong possibility 5 00:00:43,950 --> 00:00:45,950 I could end up naked with Josh in the very near future. 6 00:00:46,040 --> 00:00:48,540 I need you to look at my body and be brutally honest. 7 00:00:48,660 --> 00:00:51,490 Ooh, I like the landing strip. 8 00:00:51,580 --> 00:00:53,160 Nice choice. 9 00:00:53,250 --> 00:00:55,000 It's like the little black dress of pubic hair. 10 00:00:55,080 --> 00:00:56,670 But what about the skin above my knees? 11 00:00:56,800 --> 00:00:58,470 And I think I'm getting a cleavage wrinkle. 12 00:00:58,550 --> 00:01:00,170 - What are you talking about? - Right here. 13 00:01:00,250 --> 00:01:01,590 It's from sleeping on my side all these years. 14 00:01:01,670 --> 00:01:02,840 You know that you're an insane person? 15 00:01:02,970 --> 00:01:04,760 A cleavage wrinkle? 16 00:01:04,840 --> 00:01:06,340 With everything that women have to be paranoid about, 17 00:01:06,480 --> 00:01:07,510 we don't need to be making up new stuff. 18 00:01:07,640 --> 00:01:08,810 You look amazing. 19 00:01:08,900 --> 00:01:10,510 Don't look at me with best friend eyes. 20 00:01:10,650 --> 00:01:12,010 I need your artist eye. 21 00:01:12,100 --> 00:01:13,520 Josh is an artist. Oh, my God. 22 00:01:13,650 --> 00:01:14,680 He's a tattoo artist. 23 00:01:14,770 --> 00:01:16,020 All he does is look at skin all day. 24 00:01:16,100 --> 00:01:17,400 Taut, young skin! 25 00:01:17,520 --> 00:01:19,150 Whoa, whoa, whoa, what is going on with you? 26 00:01:19,240 --> 00:01:20,690 I don't know! I just... I don't... 27 00:01:20,770 --> 00:01:22,440 I don't know if I can have sex with someone 28 00:01:22,530 --> 00:01:24,080 who's barely old enough to rent a car. 29 00:01:24,190 --> 00:01:25,530 Liza, if you don't want to sleep with him... 30 00:01:25,610 --> 00:01:26,950 Oh, no, no, I want to have sex with him. 31 00:01:27,030 --> 00:01:29,750 It's just, I don't know if... 32 00:01:29,870 --> 00:01:32,370 I can't say this out loud, but... 33 00:01:32,450 --> 00:01:34,120 I haven't had sex in two years. 34 00:01:34,200 --> 00:01:35,750 Oh. 35 00:01:35,870 --> 00:01:38,370 Okay, well, uh, it's not like you forgot how. 36 00:01:38,460 --> 00:01:39,790 You just need to relax. 37 00:01:39,880 --> 00:01:40,880 - Right. - Yeah. 38 00:01:40,960 --> 00:01:41,930 How do I do that? 39 00:01:42,050 --> 00:01:43,010 Take one of my Xanax. 40 00:01:43,100 --> 00:01:44,050 Isn't it illegal to take 41 00:01:44,180 --> 00:01:45,680 someone else's prescription medicine? 42 00:01:45,770 --> 00:01:48,880 You're so cute. Maybe just take half. 43 00:01:48,970 --> 00:01:51,889 [upbeat pop music] 44 00:01:51,890 --> 00:01:53,889 ☯Synced and Corrected by 00:02:00,030 ♪ ♪ 46 00:02:00,110 --> 00:02:01,980 You've got mail. 47 00:02:02,070 --> 00:02:03,780 Oh, I love that movie. 48 00:02:03,900 --> 00:02:05,730 I mean, I love watching 49 00:02:05,820 --> 00:02:07,790 old movies on my iPad. 50 00:02:07,910 --> 00:02:08,790 Streaming them. 51 00:02:08,910 --> 00:02:10,740 I'm a huge... I'm a big streamer. 52 00:02:10,870 --> 00:02:11,990 I'm gonna go back to work now. 53 00:02:12,080 --> 00:02:13,240 No, stay. 54 00:02:13,380 --> 00:02:14,790 This is going to be a real treat for you. 55 00:02:14,910 --> 00:02:16,750 - It's for me? - God, no, it's for me. 56 00:02:16,830 --> 00:02:18,160 But you get to be the first to see it. 57 00:02:21,250 --> 00:02:23,220 It's Judith Leiber, made to order. 58 00:02:26,760 --> 00:02:28,420 Just cobra and stingray 59 00:02:28,560 --> 00:02:29,760 with antiqued gold hardware. 60 00:02:29,840 --> 00:02:31,430 Hematite, Austrian crystal, 61 00:02:31,510 --> 00:02:33,350 and onyx stone inlay. 62 00:02:33,430 --> 00:02:35,260 It's gorgeous, Diana. 63 00:02:35,350 --> 00:02:36,820 I just wish men appreciated bags 64 00:02:36,930 --> 00:02:38,270 as much as women. 65 00:02:38,350 --> 00:02:39,600 Men are visual. 66 00:02:39,740 --> 00:02:41,100 They respond to the whole picture, 67 00:02:41,240 --> 00:02:42,650 even if they don't know why. 68 00:02:42,770 --> 00:02:43,990 I'm telling you, men are gonna love that purse 69 00:02:44,110 --> 00:02:45,240 without even realizing they saw it. 70 00:02:46,940 --> 00:02:48,940 Let me ask you a question. 71 00:02:51,620 --> 00:02:52,500 Do you think I should change 72 00:02:52,620 --> 00:02:53,830 my profile photo? 73 00:02:53,950 --> 00:02:55,870 Maybe do one with the Leiber? 74 00:02:55,950 --> 00:02:57,420 Uh, absolutely. 75 00:02:57,500 --> 00:02:59,790 Would you mind... 76 00:02:59,920 --> 00:03:01,340 taking a few photos? 77 00:03:01,460 --> 00:03:03,460 Sure. 78 00:03:03,540 --> 00:03:05,840 Oh, no, not with that. 79 00:03:05,960 --> 00:03:07,800 Use this. 80 00:03:07,880 --> 00:03:10,430 And run it though one of those fancy Instagram filters. 81 00:03:14,640 --> 00:03:15,300 Guess who has a reading 82 00:03:15,390 --> 00:03:16,140 tomorrow night 83 00:03:16,270 --> 00:03:17,470 at the Swedish consulate? 84 00:03:17,610 --> 00:03:18,860 Bjornberg? [gasps] 85 00:03:18,980 --> 00:03:20,230 I finished the translation you gave me. 86 00:03:20,310 --> 00:03:21,530 You're right; he's incredible. 87 00:03:21,650 --> 00:03:22,310 His agent wants him 88 00:03:22,400 --> 00:03:23,360 to sign with Knopf. 89 00:03:23,480 --> 00:03:24,360 But I'm gonna get him 90 00:03:24,480 --> 00:03:25,450 to change his mind. 91 00:03:25,530 --> 00:03:26,480 And how are you going to do that? 92 00:03:26,620 --> 00:03:27,620 I don't know. 93 00:03:27,700 --> 00:03:29,320 But I'm not above yodeling. 94 00:03:29,400 --> 00:03:30,450 That's Swiss. 95 00:03:30,540 --> 00:03:31,900 Swedes are more into free childcare, 96 00:03:31,990 --> 00:03:32,900 herring, and depression. 97 00:03:32,990 --> 00:03:33,910 [groans] 98 00:03:33,990 --> 00:03:34,910 [phone chimes] 99 00:03:34,990 --> 00:03:36,580 Check this out. 100 00:03:36,660 --> 00:03:38,040 It's a tattoo Josh did. 101 00:03:38,160 --> 00:03:39,210 Wow. 102 00:03:39,330 --> 00:03:40,710 It says, "You have to see it IRL." 103 00:03:40,830 --> 00:03:42,050 What's IRL? 104 00:03:42,170 --> 00:03:43,380 In real life. 105 00:03:43,500 --> 00:03:44,470 When you were in India, 106 00:03:44,550 --> 00:03:45,470 were you living under 107 00:03:45,550 --> 00:03:46,720 an actual rock? 108 00:03:46,840 --> 00:03:48,550 No, but I did spend one monsoon season 109 00:03:48,670 --> 00:03:50,560 in a cave IRL. 110 00:03:50,670 --> 00:03:52,720 Bam. Used it right there. 111 00:03:57,850 --> 00:03:59,560 Last time I was in New Jersey, 112 00:03:59,680 --> 00:04:01,020 it was illegal to pump your own gas. 113 00:04:01,150 --> 00:04:02,820 - It still is. - Still? 114 00:04:02,900 --> 00:04:04,070 So same-sex marriage is legal, 115 00:04:04,190 --> 00:04:05,820 but pumping your own gas isn't? 116 00:04:05,910 --> 00:04:07,770 - Yup. - I like New Jersey. 117 00:04:07,860 --> 00:04:08,990 [phone chimes] 118 00:04:09,080 --> 00:04:11,030 Will you check that for me? 119 00:04:11,160 --> 00:04:12,860 Ooh, hotty hotpants alert. 120 00:04:13,000 --> 00:04:14,110 It's from Josh. 121 00:04:17,700 --> 00:04:19,000 Oh, nice. 122 00:04:19,090 --> 00:04:20,170 What should I text back? 123 00:04:20,250 --> 00:04:22,120 How about "the escrow 124 00:04:22,210 --> 00:04:23,790 "on my suburban New Jersey home is closed, 125 00:04:23,870 --> 00:04:26,710 and I'm on my way to tag everything for the movers." 126 00:04:26,790 --> 00:04:28,090 Why not throw in the fact that I'm 40 127 00:04:28,210 --> 00:04:29,340 and a baby's head came out of my Frida? 128 00:04:29,430 --> 00:04:30,800 [laughs] You call it your Frida? 129 00:04:30,880 --> 00:04:31,850 Yeah, what do you call it? 130 00:04:31,930 --> 00:04:33,130 The entertainment center. 131 00:04:33,220 --> 00:04:35,100 I wish I had your confidence. 132 00:04:35,220 --> 00:04:36,800 Good, 'cause I'm sending some of it to Josh. 133 00:04:36,890 --> 00:04:38,890 I request final text approval. 134 00:04:41,230 --> 00:04:42,610 Ah, that's good. 135 00:04:46,200 --> 00:04:48,060 No! That is not approved. 136 00:04:48,200 --> 00:04:49,980 Too late. I hit "send." 137 00:04:50,070 --> 00:04:53,240 [steady rock music] 138 00:04:53,370 --> 00:04:55,240 I thought we were just here to tag stuff. 139 00:04:55,320 --> 00:04:56,450 Why is there a moving van here? 140 00:04:56,570 --> 00:04:58,160 The more important question is, 141 00:04:58,240 --> 00:05:00,740 why is my soon-to-be-ex-husband here? 142 00:05:02,750 --> 00:05:04,910 David! 143 00:05:05,000 --> 00:05:06,750 Liza, what are you... I didn't know you'd be here. 144 00:05:06,830 --> 00:05:08,050 Wow, you look great. 145 00:05:08,140 --> 00:05:09,750 Did you do something different with your... 146 00:05:09,840 --> 00:05:12,170 She just dropped 180 pounds of dead weight. 147 00:05:12,260 --> 00:05:13,470 Great to see you, Maggie... 148 00:05:13,590 --> 00:05:14,810 As always. Still single? 149 00:05:14,930 --> 00:05:16,390 Still stripping the blackjack dealer? 150 00:05:16,480 --> 00:05:17,480 David, what's going on? 151 00:05:17,590 --> 00:05:18,810 Uh, listen, I got a great 152 00:05:18,930 --> 00:05:20,230 last-minute deal on these movers, 153 00:05:20,310 --> 00:05:22,260 so I figured I'd have everything put into storage. 154 00:05:22,350 --> 00:05:24,430 And that way, you could just go get your stuff 155 00:05:24,570 --> 00:05:25,980 whenever it's convenient for you. 156 00:05:26,100 --> 00:05:27,770 I'm having a consignment guy come tomorrow. 157 00:05:27,850 --> 00:05:29,900 I wanted him to see the furniture in the house. 158 00:05:29,990 --> 00:05:32,490 Fine. 159 00:05:32,610 --> 00:05:34,440 I'm an ass. 160 00:05:34,530 --> 00:05:36,190 - Take it all. - What? 161 00:05:36,280 --> 00:05:38,160 Yeah, I screwed this up. Take everything. 162 00:05:38,280 --> 00:05:39,450 - No. - Take it, Liza. 163 00:05:39,580 --> 00:05:41,870 Yeah, and maybe someday you'll look back on this 164 00:05:41,950 --> 00:05:45,120 and say, "Hey, you know, David wasn't so bad. 165 00:05:45,210 --> 00:05:47,460 Sure, he made a mistake, but he was a good person." 166 00:05:49,260 --> 00:05:51,130 See you around. 167 00:05:54,460 --> 00:05:56,260 Maybe I'm too hard on him. 168 00:05:57,800 --> 00:05:59,300 Who's paying for this? 169 00:06:05,877 --> 00:06:10,090 [upbeat rock music] 170 00:06:10,170 --> 00:06:12,640 ♪ ♪ 171 00:06:12,720 --> 00:06:14,170 Wow. 172 00:06:14,310 --> 00:06:15,480 You look... wow. 173 00:06:15,560 --> 00:06:16,980 [laughs] 174 00:06:17,060 --> 00:06:19,480 I'm going straight to Bjornberg's reading after work. 175 00:06:19,560 --> 00:06:21,480 - Come with me. - I can't. 176 00:06:21,570 --> 00:06:22,820 I'm seeing Josh tonight. 177 00:06:22,900 --> 00:06:24,930 Oh, my God, I checked out his Instagram. 178 00:06:25,020 --> 00:06:27,570 He is, like, disturbingly hot. 179 00:06:27,690 --> 00:06:29,820 Are you two still busy braiding friendship bracelets, 180 00:06:29,910 --> 00:06:31,270 or are you ready to come back to work? 181 00:06:31,360 --> 00:06:32,330 Uh... 182 00:06:32,410 --> 00:06:33,530 We were actually just discussing what... 183 00:06:33,610 --> 00:06:36,000 Shh. Did you hear that? 184 00:06:36,080 --> 00:06:39,280 Hear what? 185 00:06:39,370 --> 00:06:41,530 [musical flourish] 186 00:06:41,670 --> 00:06:43,540 Excuse me. 187 00:06:50,010 --> 00:06:51,260 Is everything okay? 188 00:06:51,380 --> 00:06:52,300 I got a hit. Look. 189 00:06:52,380 --> 00:06:53,350 [gasps] 190 00:06:54,930 --> 00:06:56,800 Ooh, he's handsome. 191 00:06:56,890 --> 00:07:00,600 And he's a tenured professor at Columbia Medical School. 192 00:07:00,720 --> 00:07:02,770 He likes rock climbing; his Australian shepherd, Ben; 193 00:07:02,890 --> 00:07:03,970 and Sundays at The Frick. 194 00:07:04,060 --> 00:07:05,530 - You love The Frick. - I love The Frick. 195 00:07:05,610 --> 00:07:06,890 He writes, "I see from your profile 196 00:07:07,030 --> 00:07:08,140 "that you are a member 197 00:07:08,230 --> 00:07:09,730 "of the East Side Chamber Music Society. 198 00:07:09,860 --> 00:07:11,810 "I am a member of the West Side Chamber Music Society. 199 00:07:11,900 --> 00:07:13,530 Could we ever bridge this bitter rivalry?" 200 00:07:13,620 --> 00:07:14,570 Adorable. 201 00:07:14,650 --> 00:07:15,740 Stop cheerleading and help me. 202 00:07:15,820 --> 00:07:16,900 What should I write back? 203 00:07:16,990 --> 00:07:21,820 How about, "Some rivalries are fated. 204 00:07:21,910 --> 00:07:24,160 "Two households, both alike in dignity, 205 00:07:24,250 --> 00:07:25,330 in fair Verona." 206 00:07:25,410 --> 00:07:26,630 Shakespeare? 207 00:07:26,750 --> 00:07:28,250 Won't that make me sound a tad musty? 208 00:07:28,330 --> 00:07:29,920 Well, he's into museums and chamber music. 209 00:07:30,050 --> 00:07:31,550 I think Shakespeare's a safe bet. 210 00:07:31,640 --> 00:07:33,140 Okay, press "send." 211 00:07:35,590 --> 00:07:37,590 You always hope there's someone like this out there. 212 00:07:37,730 --> 00:07:39,060 I know what you mean. 213 00:07:39,140 --> 00:07:40,840 No, you don't. You're 26 years old. 214 00:07:40,930 --> 00:07:42,430 You have no idea what it's like out there 215 00:07:42,510 --> 00:07:43,760 for a woman my age. 216 00:07:43,900 --> 00:07:44,850 It's a tundra. 217 00:07:46,430 --> 00:07:47,730 Oh! 218 00:07:47,820 --> 00:07:49,650 "Quoting the bard. How intriguing. 219 00:07:49,770 --> 00:07:51,940 Normally, this website is so fatiguing." 220 00:07:52,020 --> 00:07:53,440 He's rhyming. Rhyme back. 221 00:07:53,530 --> 00:07:54,820 Oh, okay. Uh... 222 00:07:54,940 --> 00:07:57,910 "The bard isn't hard to quote by memory. 223 00:07:58,000 --> 00:08:01,450 How did you enjoy your college years at Emory?" 224 00:08:01,530 --> 00:08:03,030 Finally, something you're good at. 225 00:08:03,120 --> 00:08:04,330 I'll take that as a "thank you." 226 00:08:04,450 --> 00:08:05,750 [gasps] Oh. 227 00:08:05,840 --> 00:08:07,500 "Those times were fun. There's much to tell. 228 00:08:07,620 --> 00:08:09,210 Let's continue this chat IRL." 229 00:08:09,290 --> 00:08:10,460 Where's IRL? 230 00:08:10,590 --> 00:08:11,790 Is that Long Island City? Queens? 231 00:08:11,930 --> 00:08:13,260 It stands for "in real life." 232 00:08:13,340 --> 00:08:14,430 Ah. Yes, yes, yes! 233 00:08:14,510 --> 00:08:15,760 Type "yes." Yes. Yes! 234 00:08:18,300 --> 00:08:19,800 (woman) He's won countless awards, 235 00:08:19,880 --> 00:08:24,550 including this year's Swedish Literary Society's Grand Prize. 236 00:08:24,640 --> 00:08:27,770 He's quite simply a national treasure. 237 00:08:27,860 --> 00:08:32,560 Please welcome the incomparable Anton Bjornberg. 238 00:08:32,650 --> 00:08:34,650 [applause] 239 00:08:34,730 --> 00:08:36,370 Thank you. 240 00:08:39,370 --> 00:08:42,320 [speaking Swedish] 241 00:08:46,330 --> 00:08:48,240 (Kelsey) The reading's in Swedish? 242 00:08:48,330 --> 00:08:49,750 (man) Shh! 243 00:08:49,830 --> 00:08:52,800 [Anton speaking in Swedish] 244 00:08:58,840 --> 00:09:01,760 [upbeat music] 245 00:09:01,840 --> 00:09:03,840 ♪ ♪ 246 00:09:03,930 --> 00:09:05,810 Well, to first times. 247 00:09:05,900 --> 00:09:07,430 Okay. 248 00:09:08,900 --> 00:09:10,770 Sorry, I'm just a little nervous. 249 00:09:10,850 --> 00:09:12,100 I love that about you. 250 00:09:12,190 --> 00:09:13,600 What, my nervousness? 251 00:09:13,690 --> 00:09:15,770 No, no, your... Your honesty. 252 00:09:15,860 --> 00:09:18,160 And also the way your right eyebrow's 253 00:09:18,240 --> 00:09:21,530 always just a little bit higher than your left one. 254 00:09:21,610 --> 00:09:23,410 Makes you always seem a little amused. 255 00:09:23,530 --> 00:09:24,700 Well, you're amusing. 256 00:09:24,780 --> 00:09:28,370 Well, what exactly makes me so amusing? 257 00:09:28,450 --> 00:09:30,290 You know, you're this... 258 00:09:30,370 --> 00:09:33,870 cool, sexy tattoo artist guy. 259 00:09:33,960 --> 00:09:37,930 And you're this cool, sexy book publishing girl. 260 00:09:38,050 --> 00:09:39,300 You pay attention. 261 00:09:39,380 --> 00:09:40,850 I do pay attention. 262 00:09:42,270 --> 00:09:45,520 And for certain people, I lavish my attention. 263 00:09:45,600 --> 00:09:47,220 Lavish? 264 00:09:47,310 --> 00:09:49,110 Yeah, lavish. 265 00:09:49,220 --> 00:09:51,270 (woman) Josh. 266 00:09:51,390 --> 00:09:52,980 Hey. How are you? 267 00:09:53,060 --> 00:09:54,190 (woman) I'm good. 268 00:09:54,280 --> 00:09:55,860 Look how great the new tattoo healed. 269 00:09:55,950 --> 00:09:57,610 Oh, sick. 270 00:09:57,730 --> 00:09:59,370 Yeah, that line turned out great. 271 00:09:59,450 --> 00:10:02,200 Liza, this is Dacia. 272 00:10:02,290 --> 00:10:03,540 Hi. It's nice to meet you. 273 00:10:03,620 --> 00:10:05,120 It's a great... line. 274 00:10:05,240 --> 00:10:06,160 Thanks. 275 00:10:06,240 --> 00:10:07,160 Dacia, is this Josh? 276 00:10:07,240 --> 00:10:08,210 Oh, yeah. 277 00:10:08,290 --> 00:10:09,740 You have to do me too. 278 00:10:09,880 --> 00:10:11,660 I was thinking of a Smith and Wesson revolver, 279 00:10:11,750 --> 00:10:13,550 like, right here. 280 00:10:13,630 --> 00:10:15,080 Yeah, yeah, that's hot. 281 00:10:15,220 --> 00:10:16,300 (woman) I know, right? 282 00:10:16,420 --> 00:10:17,920 (Dacia) We should go to your studio 283 00:10:18,050 --> 00:10:19,890 and do it right now. 284 00:10:19,970 --> 00:10:21,250 Yes. 285 00:10:21,340 --> 00:10:24,220 Uh, I... I should probably get going anyways. 286 00:10:24,310 --> 00:10:25,980 What? Why? 287 00:10:26,090 --> 00:10:27,980 Well, you've got work to do. 288 00:10:28,100 --> 00:10:29,900 Hey, hey. 289 00:10:29,980 --> 00:10:33,020 I want to be here with you, all right? 290 00:10:33,100 --> 00:10:34,480 And when we get home, 291 00:10:34,600 --> 00:10:37,490 the only thing that I want to work on 292 00:10:37,610 --> 00:10:39,940 is your hot little... 293 00:10:50,190 --> 00:10:53,150 [conversing in Swedish] 294 00:11:17,050 --> 00:11:18,210 Excuse me. 295 00:11:18,350 --> 00:11:19,800 Some people from the Finnish consulate 296 00:11:19,880 --> 00:11:21,300 are getting pretty rowdy at the bar. 297 00:11:21,380 --> 00:11:22,680 The Finns are here? 298 00:11:22,770 --> 00:11:23,680 Mm. 299 00:11:23,770 --> 00:11:25,180 Pardon me. 300 00:11:25,270 --> 00:11:27,390 Are there really Finns at the bar? 301 00:11:27,470 --> 00:11:30,560 No. I just got creative. 302 00:11:30,690 --> 00:11:32,310 Well, that certainly worked. 303 00:11:32,390 --> 00:11:33,560 Kelsey Peters. 304 00:11:33,650 --> 00:11:34,890 I'm an editor at Empirical. 305 00:11:34,980 --> 00:11:36,400 Hey, Anton. [speaking Swedish] 306 00:11:36,530 --> 00:11:39,030 Sorry, I don't speak Swedish. 307 00:11:39,120 --> 00:11:41,820 - You don't? - No. 308 00:11:41,900 --> 00:11:43,990 Then why are you at a Swedish reading? 309 00:11:44,070 --> 00:11:46,960 Well, I read a translation of your book, In Galleries. 310 00:11:47,080 --> 00:11:48,490 I'm a huge fan. 311 00:11:48,580 --> 00:11:49,910 I think you're a genius. 312 00:11:49,990 --> 00:11:51,740 I want to sign you. 313 00:11:51,830 --> 00:11:53,750 Oh. That's quite forward. 314 00:11:53,830 --> 00:11:56,880 I just need five minutes of your time. 315 00:11:56,970 --> 00:11:59,590 You know what, Kelsey Peters? 316 00:12:00,920 --> 00:12:01,890 Let's get out of here. 317 00:12:01,970 --> 00:12:03,420 Let's go and have a drink 318 00:12:03,560 --> 00:12:06,340 somewhere with fewer rowdy Finns. 319 00:12:06,430 --> 00:12:07,930 Great. 320 00:12:08,060 --> 00:12:10,180 (band) ♪ You got me all worked up ♪ 321 00:12:10,270 --> 00:12:12,400 ♪ I'm digging all your stuff ♪ 322 00:12:12,480 --> 00:12:14,520 ♪ You got that thing I want ♪ 323 00:12:14,600 --> 00:12:16,690 ♪ Give it to me now ♪ 324 00:12:16,770 --> 00:12:19,110 ♪ You got me on my knees ♪ 325 00:12:19,190 --> 00:12:21,490 [laughs] 326 00:12:21,610 --> 00:12:22,610 What's so funny? 327 00:12:22,740 --> 00:12:24,440 Nothing. It's just... 328 00:12:24,530 --> 00:12:25,780 [giggles] 329 00:12:25,910 --> 00:12:27,830 Wait. I'm sorry. I'm just a little ticklish. 330 00:12:27,950 --> 00:12:30,170 You just need to relax a little bit. 331 00:12:30,290 --> 00:12:31,620 Yes, you're right. 332 00:12:31,750 --> 00:12:34,250 I do. I do. I need to relax. 333 00:12:34,340 --> 00:12:35,870 Can I use your bathroom? 334 00:12:35,960 --> 00:12:37,120 Unrelated to relaxing. 335 00:12:37,210 --> 00:12:39,130 I plan to relax elsewhere other than the bathroom. 336 00:12:39,210 --> 00:12:40,130 First door on your right. 337 00:12:40,260 --> 00:12:41,130 Thank you. 338 00:12:41,260 --> 00:12:42,460 ♪ You got me all worked up ♪ 339 00:12:42,600 --> 00:12:44,630 ♪ I'm digging all your stuff ♪ 340 00:12:44,720 --> 00:12:46,630 ♪ You got that thing I want ♪ 341 00:12:46,770 --> 00:12:48,130 ♪ Give it to me now ♪ 342 00:12:48,270 --> 00:12:49,640 Okay. 343 00:12:51,390 --> 00:12:53,360 Just relax. 344 00:12:56,190 --> 00:12:58,110 [exhales] 345 00:13:02,730 --> 00:13:05,650 [swanky jazz music] 346 00:13:05,740 --> 00:13:13,660 ♪ ♪ 347 00:13:25,010 --> 00:13:27,010 Oh, my lord. 348 00:13:27,090 --> 00:13:31,010 Is that a Zahara stingray and cobra Judith Leiber bag? 349 00:13:31,100 --> 00:13:32,350 Yes, it is. 350 00:13:32,430 --> 00:13:34,680 I thought so. Look at the onyx stone inlay. 351 00:13:34,770 --> 00:13:35,820 It's extraordinary. 352 00:13:35,900 --> 00:13:38,320 You know a lot about purses. 353 00:13:38,400 --> 00:13:39,940 Oh, I'm a huge Leiber fan. 354 00:13:40,020 --> 00:13:41,150 I have a YouTube channel. 355 00:13:41,240 --> 00:13:42,610 So far, I've reviewed 38 bags, 356 00:13:42,690 --> 00:13:45,320 but I've never seen a Zahara stingray and cobra. 357 00:13:45,410 --> 00:13:46,990 If I were you, I'd keep it in a museum case. 358 00:13:47,080 --> 00:13:49,410 No, no, fashion is for enjoyment. 359 00:13:49,530 --> 00:13:51,000 I plan on taking it everywhere with me, 360 00:13:51,080 --> 00:13:53,920 to galleries and restaurants and... 361 00:13:54,040 --> 00:13:54,920 The Frick. 362 00:13:55,040 --> 00:13:56,170 [laughs] 363 00:13:56,250 --> 00:13:57,590 How do you know I go to... 364 00:13:58,920 --> 00:14:00,710 Oh, shit. 365 00:14:00,790 --> 00:14:03,130 You're the Columbia professor? 366 00:14:03,210 --> 00:14:05,010 I'm sorry, okay? 367 00:14:05,100 --> 00:14:07,130 I just really wanted to see the bag. 368 00:14:07,220 --> 00:14:09,270 Someone like you would never agree to meet me. 369 00:14:09,380 --> 00:14:10,880 What do you mean, someone like me? 370 00:14:10,970 --> 00:14:12,850 Well, you're this high-powered executive, 371 00:14:12,940 --> 00:14:14,520 and you've got such fierce style, 372 00:14:14,610 --> 00:14:16,020 and you're so cultured, 373 00:14:16,110 --> 00:14:17,390 and you have this amazing life. 374 00:14:17,530 --> 00:14:18,890 That's what you think of me? 375 00:14:18,980 --> 00:14:22,400 It's not what I think; it's just the straight-up truth. 376 00:14:24,230 --> 00:14:25,980 Well, it's not so great. Believe me. 377 00:14:26,070 --> 00:14:27,900 Well, I bet you don't get beat up at school. 378 00:14:27,990 --> 00:14:30,200 And people don't call you "Little Miss Bag Fag." 379 00:14:33,290 --> 00:14:34,870 Sit down. What are you drinking? 380 00:14:34,960 --> 00:14:37,080 Grey Goose martini, two olives. 381 00:14:38,410 --> 00:14:40,160 Club soda with a splash of grenadine. 382 00:14:40,250 --> 00:14:41,500 Excellent choice. 383 00:14:41,580 --> 00:14:43,580 Now, if you are very, very gentle... 384 00:14:45,800 --> 00:14:47,170 You may hold it. 385 00:14:49,170 --> 00:14:50,970 Would you like me to take a picture of you with it? 386 00:14:51,090 --> 00:14:52,560 God, yes. 387 00:14:54,760 --> 00:14:56,100 Smile pretty. 388 00:14:57,180 --> 00:14:58,310 Well, that's the one. 389 00:15:00,940 --> 00:15:03,100 I know I don't have as much experience 390 00:15:03,190 --> 00:15:04,600 as an older editor 391 00:15:04,740 --> 00:15:06,440 and I don't have a roster full of heavyweights, 392 00:15:06,570 --> 00:15:07,990 but that's also my strength. 393 00:15:08,110 --> 00:15:10,740 I have the time. I have the energy. 394 00:15:10,830 --> 00:15:13,360 I am wild about your book. 395 00:15:13,450 --> 00:15:15,620 So what do you think the book is about? 396 00:15:15,700 --> 00:15:17,620 I've thought about that a lot. 397 00:15:17,700 --> 00:15:18,920 Mm-hmm. 398 00:15:19,000 --> 00:15:21,090 I think the book is about indignity. 399 00:15:21,170 --> 00:15:24,210 We start life getting our ass wiped. 400 00:15:24,290 --> 00:15:26,260 We end life getting our ass wiped. 401 00:15:26,340 --> 00:15:28,090 And in between, we're just chasing money. 402 00:15:28,180 --> 00:15:30,350 And here I thought I was writing a book 403 00:15:30,470 --> 00:15:31,680 about my miserable childhood. 404 00:15:31,800 --> 00:15:34,100 But I like the way you see it. 405 00:15:34,190 --> 00:15:35,350 Really. 406 00:15:35,470 --> 00:15:38,970 So will you come in Monday morning for a meeting 407 00:15:39,060 --> 00:15:41,020 and meet the rest of the team? 408 00:15:41,140 --> 00:15:43,530 Oh, that's very American. 409 00:15:43,650 --> 00:15:45,140 Already closing the deal. 410 00:15:45,230 --> 00:15:47,110 [laughs] 411 00:15:47,200 --> 00:15:48,860 I'm sorry. I don't mean to be pushy. 412 00:15:48,980 --> 00:15:50,570 I'm just... I'm excited. 413 00:15:50,650 --> 00:15:52,950 I'm excited too. 414 00:15:53,040 --> 00:15:54,700 Good. 415 00:15:54,820 --> 00:15:57,160 [phone chimes] 416 00:15:59,080 --> 00:16:00,160 [phone ringing] 417 00:16:00,240 --> 00:16:01,910 It's my boyfriend. 418 00:16:02,000 --> 00:16:04,460 It's my wife. 419 00:16:04,550 --> 00:16:07,720 Hey. 420 00:16:07,840 --> 00:16:12,510 (Squeeze) ♪ Tempted by the fruit of another ♪ 421 00:16:12,590 --> 00:16:15,010 ♪ Tempted, but the truth is discovered ♪ 422 00:16:15,090 --> 00:16:17,090 I love this song. 423 00:16:17,180 --> 00:16:19,180 What year was this? 424 00:16:19,260 --> 00:16:20,680 1981, I think? 425 00:16:20,770 --> 00:16:24,350 Oh, wow, 1981. 426 00:16:24,440 --> 00:16:26,270 When I wasn't even born. 427 00:16:26,350 --> 00:16:27,900 What? 428 00:16:28,020 --> 00:16:28,900 What? 429 00:16:29,020 --> 00:16:31,070 [laughs] Wait. 430 00:16:31,190 --> 00:16:33,530 I love that you listen to old record albums. 431 00:16:33,610 --> 00:16:35,440 Yeah. 432 00:16:37,370 --> 00:16:39,030 I love vinyl. It's the best. 433 00:16:39,120 --> 00:16:41,870 Do you love it love it, or do you love it ironically? 434 00:16:41,950 --> 00:16:45,370 For real. I love it. 435 00:16:45,460 --> 00:16:47,670 I love all types of old stuff. 436 00:16:47,760 --> 00:16:50,880 [laughs] 437 00:16:54,430 --> 00:16:56,050 [laughs] 438 00:16:56,130 --> 00:16:57,100 I'm gonna try again. 439 00:16:57,220 --> 00:16:59,300 You are a little bit drunk. 440 00:16:59,390 --> 00:17:00,390 No. 441 00:17:00,520 --> 00:17:01,800 It's okay. 442 00:17:01,890 --> 00:17:03,140 I'm gonna go make you some coffee. 443 00:17:03,220 --> 00:17:04,440 I'm not drunk. 444 00:17:04,560 --> 00:17:06,230 No, I'm not drunk. I'm not. 445 00:17:06,360 --> 00:17:07,860 I'm just chillaxin'. 446 00:17:07,950 --> 00:17:09,900 (Squeeze) ♪ What's been going on ♪ 447 00:17:09,980 --> 00:17:11,610 ♪ Now that you have gone ♪ 448 00:17:11,730 --> 00:17:13,400 [snoring] 449 00:17:13,480 --> 00:17:17,950 ♪ Tempted by the fruit of another ♪ 450 00:17:18,070 --> 00:17:21,960 ♪ Tempted, but the truth is discovered ♪ 451 00:17:22,080 --> 00:17:23,130 ♪ ♪ 452 00:17:23,240 --> 00:17:27,910 ♪ Tempted by the fruit of another ♪ 453 00:17:28,050 --> 00:17:29,880 ♪ Tempted, but the truth is discovered ♪ 454 00:17:38,310 --> 00:17:39,970 It was so embarrassing. 455 00:17:40,090 --> 00:17:41,840 I completely passed out. 456 00:17:41,930 --> 00:17:44,680 Then I snuck out this morning before he woke up. 457 00:17:44,760 --> 00:17:46,600 You realize you roofied yourself. 458 00:17:46,730 --> 00:17:48,820 Maggie, I don't think I can actually get back on the horse 459 00:17:48,940 --> 00:17:50,070 with such a young guy. 460 00:17:50,150 --> 00:17:52,240 Of course you can. 461 00:17:52,320 --> 00:17:53,820 Listen to me. 462 00:17:53,940 --> 00:17:55,440 Your vagina just needs a pep talk. 463 00:17:55,580 --> 00:17:56,770 Excuse me? 464 00:17:56,860 --> 00:17:58,660 Frida, now, I know you've only been 465 00:17:58,780 --> 00:18:00,080 with one penis in the past 20 years. 466 00:18:00,160 --> 00:18:01,450 22 years. 467 00:18:01,530 --> 00:18:03,030 I'm not talking to you. I'm talking to Frida. 468 00:18:03,120 --> 00:18:04,370 - That was Frida. - That was Frida? 469 00:18:04,450 --> 00:18:05,950 Come on. She needs, like, an accent or something. 470 00:18:06,040 --> 00:18:08,120 - Iz thiz bedder? - If she's a Persian dude. 471 00:18:08,200 --> 00:18:09,450 Anyway, the point is, 472 00:18:09,590 --> 00:18:12,540 there is this unbelievably exciting 473 00:18:12,630 --> 00:18:15,460 sexual world out there that you've been missing out on. 474 00:18:15,550 --> 00:18:17,050 It's time to come out, girl, okay? 475 00:18:17,130 --> 00:18:18,180 Uh... 476 00:18:18,300 --> 00:18:20,210 Uh, I can come back. 477 00:18:20,300 --> 00:18:21,550 - Oh, no. - No, no, no, it's okay. 478 00:18:21,630 --> 00:18:23,350 - Come on in, Trent. - Okay. 479 00:18:23,470 --> 00:18:25,850 So I took a look in the truck. 480 00:18:25,970 --> 00:18:28,020 I can give you $2,500 for all of it. 481 00:18:28,140 --> 00:18:29,360 $2,500? 482 00:18:29,480 --> 00:18:30,610 Uh, maybe you didn't see it all. 483 00:18:30,690 --> 00:18:32,060 Here. No, show him. 484 00:18:32,150 --> 00:18:34,230 (Liza) I have photos here from when the house was staged. 485 00:18:34,310 --> 00:18:35,650 Everything is in great condition. 486 00:18:35,730 --> 00:18:36,950 We only had one girl, 487 00:18:37,030 --> 00:18:38,700 so we were actually able to have nice things, 488 00:18:38,820 --> 00:18:40,150 unlike the boy families. 489 00:18:40,240 --> 00:18:41,240 See this chair? It's a Stickley. 490 00:18:41,320 --> 00:18:43,120 And the dinette, this was my mom's, 491 00:18:43,210 --> 00:18:44,210 and it's genuine cherry. 492 00:18:44,320 --> 00:18:45,910 Look, lady, I get it. 493 00:18:45,990 --> 00:18:47,210 I saw it. 494 00:18:47,330 --> 00:18:48,460 It's worth a couple grand. 495 00:18:48,550 --> 00:18:49,990 I know the market here. 496 00:18:50,080 --> 00:18:52,330 But it took me forever to collect these things. 497 00:18:52,420 --> 00:18:53,880 I mean, I know some of it's sentimental, 498 00:18:54,000 --> 00:18:55,420 but it's got to be worth more than that, 499 00:18:55,500 --> 00:18:56,630 even as firewood. 500 00:18:56,720 --> 00:18:58,890 Okay, 3 grand. Final offer. 501 00:18:59,010 --> 00:19:00,510 You're not gonna do better. 502 00:19:00,590 --> 00:19:02,060 Wow. 503 00:19:02,180 --> 00:19:03,890 You know what? Let's go. 504 00:19:04,010 --> 00:19:05,680 - Where? - Brooklyn. 505 00:19:05,760 --> 00:19:07,260 - Brooklyn? - Yeah, Brooklyn. 506 00:19:07,350 --> 00:19:09,060 Everybody's moving to Brooklyn. 507 00:19:09,180 --> 00:19:12,070 [upbeat rock music] 508 00:19:12,190 --> 00:19:14,520 ♪ ♪ 509 00:19:14,600 --> 00:19:15,690 It's so normcore. 510 00:19:15,770 --> 00:19:17,860 So normcore, totally suburban. 511 00:19:17,990 --> 00:19:19,020 It's perfect. 512 00:19:19,160 --> 00:19:20,910 Enjoy it! 513 00:19:21,030 --> 00:19:22,030 We're cleaning up. 514 00:19:22,160 --> 00:19:23,490 See, this stuff's not worthless. 515 00:19:23,580 --> 00:19:24,530 Brooklyn loves you. 516 00:19:24,660 --> 00:19:25,750 [phone chimes] 517 00:19:27,120 --> 00:19:28,370 Oh, my God, look at this. 518 00:19:30,590 --> 00:19:32,200 Ooh, this guy's really into you. 519 00:19:32,340 --> 00:19:33,700 I know. 520 00:19:33,790 --> 00:19:35,510 That's why I got to tell him the truth. 521 00:19:35,590 --> 00:19:36,670 It's only a number. 522 00:19:36,760 --> 00:19:37,710 But it's a big one. 523 00:19:37,790 --> 00:19:39,510 You'll be fine. Go. 524 00:19:39,600 --> 00:19:40,880 Frida deserves this. 525 00:19:44,880 --> 00:19:46,630 See ya. 526 00:19:46,720 --> 00:19:49,020 (Scissor Sisters) ♪ I don't mind if you're running around ♪ 527 00:19:49,110 --> 00:19:51,190 Josh, I know that you think that we're the same age, 528 00:19:51,270 --> 00:19:54,030 but, actually, I'm four... teen. 529 00:19:54,110 --> 00:19:56,690 That's right; I'm a minor, and you're under arrest. 530 00:19:56,780 --> 00:19:59,560 ♪ I'm laying in bed with a whole lot of wonder ♪ 531 00:19:59,700 --> 00:20:01,650 Did you know Cameron Diaz is 40? 532 00:20:01,730 --> 00:20:03,120 She's not gross, right? 533 00:20:03,240 --> 00:20:04,400 ♪ Midnight strikes ♪ 534 00:20:04,540 --> 00:20:06,950 ♪ I don't know where you've been ♪ 535 00:20:07,070 --> 00:20:09,570 ♪ But I still want to make love tonight ♪ 536 00:20:09,710 --> 00:20:11,490 ♪ When you come stumbling in ♪ 537 00:20:11,580 --> 00:20:14,550 ♪ Baby, come home to me ♪ 538 00:20:14,630 --> 00:20:18,380 ♪ Baby, come home to me ♪ 539 00:20:18,470 --> 00:20:20,550 - Hi. - Hi. 540 00:20:20,640 --> 00:20:22,750 I am so sorry I passed out last night. 541 00:20:22,840 --> 00:20:25,920 I was just really nervous, 'cause... 542 00:20:26,060 --> 00:20:28,430 There's something that I need to tell you. 543 00:20:28,510 --> 00:20:30,310 ♪ Baby, come home to me ♪ 544 00:20:30,430 --> 00:20:32,980 ♪ Baby, come home to me ♪ 545 00:20:33,100 --> 00:20:36,100 ♪ It's a half past quarter to three ♪ 546 00:20:36,190 --> 00:20:37,940 Never mind. 547 00:20:38,070 --> 00:20:40,769 ♪ Baby, come home ♪ 548 00:20:40,770 --> 00:20:42,770 ☯Synced and Corrected by Seppuku17☯ ❃www.addic7ed.com❃